My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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