I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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