Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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