Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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