I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
