I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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