I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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