Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
