In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
