I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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