Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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