i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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