Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
