i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
