I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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