Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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