okay pat passed out under dana's car
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
