butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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