We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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