he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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