Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
