He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
