i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
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I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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