Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
