I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Fuck appropriateness.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
