he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
