Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
