He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
