plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Someone signed my nipple.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
