im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
