I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
