Kiss
Puke
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
