I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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