Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think a kid would responsible me up
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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