i may or may not be watching the land before time
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
