Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
