a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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