K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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