She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
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We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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