I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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