how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
