Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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