when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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