so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
