i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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