her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
