I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
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Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
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My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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