I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Randomize
