Dual....:-)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
