my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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