I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I faked an abortion last night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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