Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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