just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
pray to the hookup gods
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
