i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
