im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
