We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
