Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Randomize
