So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
